Mysterious eastern wizard brings hope to Africans
Mysterious eastern wizard brings hope to Africans
"There is no evidence to suggest a wizard exists in Zambia named Merlin. None whatsoever. First of all, Merlin is a mythical character from the 12th century, he never even existed. This news is ridiculous and absurd."
Wrong ass hole. Our sources say quite the opposite. Merlin did in fact exist. In "fact", not only did he exist, he may have been a negro as well. Here is an excerpt from "Abrosius Aurelianus".
The earliest (pre-12th century) Welsh poems concerning the Myrddin legend present him as a madman living a wretched existence in the Caledonian Forest, ruminating on his former existence and the disaster that brought him low: the death of his lord Gwenddoleu, whom he served as bard.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy also seemed a bit ignorant when the news broke, statements translated "Nobody but a madman himself would believe that this madman existed, and only a complete imbecile would believe he still exists, nonetheless a negro. Only in a region of uneducated pagens could such a runor spread and gain significance. I am outraged we are discussing this"
Strike two cocksuckers. Our sources once again show the exact opposite is true : "The modern depiction of Merlin began with Geoffrey of Monmouth. His book Prophetiae Merlini was intended to be a collection of the prophecies of the Welsh figure of Myrddin, whom he called Merlin. He included the Prophetiae in his more famous second work, the Historia Regum Britanniae. In this work, however, he constructed an account of Merlin's life that placed him in the time of Aurelius Ambrosius and King Arthur, decades before the lifetime of Myrddin Wyllt."
And from "Age of the Mage", a non-fiction account of magic in the 20th Century by Sacremal Kentigerm :
As believed through witness by scribes from the ancient age, into the modern age, human age has been vastly extended by specific efforts tied to magic. Thus, magic taken for granted and harnessed into the modern age has been fully utilized by wizards in hiding along the shores of the ancient regions of the world. The ages of a healthy wizard could reach a millennium, or longer even.
And finally, just for shits and giggles, we called U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney :
MD : "Hello Vice President Cheney, thank you for taking out phone call, we realize you're a busy man."
Dick : "I'm only responding to this to humor the situation. I'm not going to further involve myself with foreign affairs such as this. Let me just say this though."
MD : "Thank you. The question at hand is obvious I'm sure. So lets just get right to the point here. What are your thoughts on the situation in African surrounding Merlin alive and well, and.. negro."
Dick : "And negro? I'm not sure whats thats suppose to mean exactly. Um, but again look. If Merlin were a alive and well today, and if he was african as these people have claimed, I would be thrilled. Now, I dont really have time to--"
MD : "Mr. Cheney.. don't do this. Merlin is fucking ni--."
Dick : "I'm hanging up right now."
MD : "Fuck you Mr. Cheney."
Dick : "......"
Strike Three baldy. The Western World once again struggles to accept news that conflicts with their notion of reality. As an organization that seeks to rid ignorance, we pledge to further our research of Merlin, and to further prove and thus advance our world towards a more powerful and free thinking society.
Thursday, Dec 4th 2008
"Merlin, a negro?", Dr. Inonge Mbikusita-Lewanika, Zambian Ambassador to the U.N. said in shock last weekend in a brief conference. The conference was the South African Regional State of the address. To the surprise of recent developments, it was later coined "The Merlin Expo". Reports from western zambian tribes, passed on by surrounding tribes reached the capital of the news. British Ambassador John Sawers spoke out the day following :"There is no evidence to suggest a wizard exists in Zambia named Merlin. None whatsoever. First of all, Merlin is a mythical character from the 12th century, he never even existed. This news is ridiculous and absurd."
Wrong ass hole. Our sources say quite the opposite. Merlin did in fact exist. In "fact", not only did he exist, he may have been a negro as well. Here is an excerpt from "Abrosius Aurelianus".
The earliest (pre-12th century) Welsh poems concerning the Myrddin legend present him as a madman living a wretched existence in the Caledonian Forest, ruminating on his former existence and the disaster that brought him low: the death of his lord Gwenddoleu, whom he served as bard.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy also seemed a bit ignorant when the news broke, statements translated "Nobody but a madman himself would believe that this madman existed, and only a complete imbecile would believe he still exists, nonetheless a negro. Only in a region of uneducated pagens could such a runor spread and gain significance. I am outraged we are discussing this"
Strike two cocksuckers. Our sources once again show the exact opposite is true : "The modern depiction of Merlin began with Geoffrey of Monmouth. His book Prophetiae Merlini was intended to be a collection of the prophecies of the Welsh figure of Myrddin, whom he called Merlin. He included the Prophetiae in his more famous second work, the Historia Regum Britanniae. In this work, however, he constructed an account of Merlin's life that placed him in the time of Aurelius Ambrosius and King Arthur, decades before the lifetime of Myrddin Wyllt."
And from "Age of the Mage", a non-fiction account of magic in the 20th Century by Sacremal Kentigerm :
As believed through witness by scribes from the ancient age, into the modern age, human age has been vastly extended by specific efforts tied to magic. Thus, magic taken for granted and harnessed into the modern age has been fully utilized by wizards in hiding along the shores of the ancient regions of the world. The ages of a healthy wizard could reach a millennium, or longer even.
And finally, just for shits and giggles, we called U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney :
MD : "Hello Vice President Cheney, thank you for taking out phone call, we realize you're a busy man."
Dick : "I'm only responding to this to humor the situation. I'm not going to further involve myself with foreign affairs such as this. Let me just say this though."
MD : "Thank you. The question at hand is obvious I'm sure. So lets just get right to the point here. What are your thoughts on the situation in African surrounding Merlin alive and well, and.. negro."
Dick : "And negro? I'm not sure whats thats suppose to mean exactly. Um, but again look. If Merlin were a alive and well today, and if he was african as these people have claimed, I would be thrilled. Now, I dont really have time to--"
MD : "Mr. Cheney.. don't do this. Merlin is fucking ni--."
Dick : "I'm hanging up right now."
MD : "Fuck you Mr. Cheney."
Dick : "......"
Strike Three baldy. The Western World once again struggles to accept news that conflicts with their notion of reality. As an organization that seeks to rid ignorance, we pledge to further our research of Merlin, and to further prove and thus advance our world towards a more powerful and free thinking society.